Thursday, January 15, 2009
hmmm
help wanted....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
No Retreats, No Regrets
So, as you may or may not know, I'm headed to New York City next week. I'm going to find a job. Let's face it, the economy sucks. And as my dad's friend told me, my personality is what hooks people. So I've got to use it to my advantage. Rather than just send out resumes all over the place and wait for them to come to me, I'm going to them. And I'm going to keep going and going until I find what it is I want, and I get what I want. Sounds a little arrogant, but trust me, in this situation, its your attitude thats going to make the biggest difference...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Closing out 2008...
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. |
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Third Eye Blind Plays the college crowd (or the drunk crowd)

Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Greatest Singers of All Time
Monday, December 1, 2008
This Modern Love
I chose a different approach to it. I chose to be pro-gay marriage. Once I heard everyone else's arguments, I'm not so sure I'm for it just yet anymore (thats a whole other story which I will NOT get into here). That's not to say I don't approve of gay relationships, its just that it would entail a snowball effect to get polygamists, and other unusual forms of relationships legalized...
However, my approach was that of my upbringing both at home and at my religious Hebrew school were contradicting themselves. On one hand, I'm being told that its a sin to be gay, but on the other hand I'm being taught that we must treat others as we would like to be treated. In fact, that was the most important rule I learned in all my years at Hebrew School. I remember my Rabbi saying that if I could only learn one thing from the Torah, it should be that lesson.
Anyway.... when panelists began raising the questions to each other (us), I got asked a question that caught me so off guard that I had to come to my blog for it. How do I define "Love"? It's tough because we all think we know, but try to answer it and you'll see you have NO idea.
This makes me think a lot about all the things I've dealt with since my senior of high school. I look back now and realize how silly it was to consider Daniel Roytman (my "boyfriend" of 1 month when I was 16) to be my first love. I was 16 and his promise bracelet that he gave me had the word "blowjob" spelled out in beads... hows that for love? I got into my first real serious relationship a few years after that in which for the first time I felt what it was to be loved. To be truly loved. I didn't get understand it and it scared me. To have someone need to hear my voice first thing in the morning and last thing at night was beyond me. I always said to him "why can't you just fall asleep? why can't you just let me fall asleep if I want without having to call you?" To have someone who lived 7 hours away drive 14 hours in total to see me for 2... To send me a dozen pink roses (my favorite) once a month and on special occasions that called for it (my first day at a new job) with cards saying "if you dont dazzle them, at least you still dazzle me". It sounds corny. I know. I hated it with a passion... To find out that 3 years after it all ended, your picture still sits on his desk...
Then you come to the serious relationship in which you finally feel what its like to love someone yourself. Prior to that moment for me, loving someone was just being able to actually say "I love you" to them, but not having to mean it. When you get to the point in which you do, it something unexplainable... something undefinable. As much as the relationship in which I understood what it was and what it felt like ended in a not so friendly way to say the least, I still appreciate and carry with me what it made me feel like at the time, and thats what I have left to base my definition on.
When you're truly in love (** keep in mind that these are all my own opinions based on my own experiences), nothing else matters. Literally. The only things that truly matter are those moments when you are with the person you love, every other moment without them is just a filler. Something that takes up space until the next moment you are with that person. Love is the inability to hold back a smile no matter how much you want to when you see that person, and the harder you try to hold the smile back, the bigger you smile. Love is when every imperfection is perfection. A nasty gross scar on the person's forearm is just another part of that person that makes them who they are. Love is recognizing by smell and touch who that person is (im not talking colognes here). I remember distinctly saying "my favorite thing about you is the way you smell". I know it sounds weird, but its true. At its highest point, love makes you want to scream of frustration because there just isnt a way to express just exactly how much you feel for that person. Love is willing to piss off your entire family to just "see what happens". And most importantly, love is when you want to hate them so bad with every fiber in your body, and you know that just one look will tear you all down again.
As for now, I'm not in love. Yes I was, but its over and for a reason. I don't dwell on the negative reasons anymore, but my reason now is that it ended in order to teach me what lies ahead, only bigger and better.