People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. |
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Closing out 2008...
Well, as 2008 comes to end, its that time again to think back, rearrange, rethink, and reorganize everything. Unfortunately, since my blog was entirely deleted not too long ago, I don't have my old entries from the whole year to use as a guide and reference for next year. So, with three measly entries in 2008, 2009 is my chance to start all over.
2008 has been a CRAZY year, but by far the most interesting, intense, absurd, and wonderful year ever. I was thinking about this past year today and came up with a list of things I learned throughout the year:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't make someone love you.
2. Put yourself and your feelings first; at the end of the day you're still the only one completely there for yourself.
3. Be sure of what you want. If you're not sure, you leave room for doubt, and one small doubt is what can make you or break you.
4. Everyone you come across in your life serves a purpose. Each and every person has something to offer, so be sure to keep your eyes and your ears open.
5. Your personality really is bigger than your physical.
6. Life is simple. Keep it that way (FARZAD!!!)
7. If you're going to do something, do it with style (no matter what style you choose)
8. Prepare yourself for the obvious
9. If you're unsatisfied with something in your life, be ready to do something about it.
10. Don't fight who you are
11. Its okay to laugh and cry. Its what makes us human. Never apologize for showing your feelings.
12. Time DOES heal all wounds. Just be patient enough to wait for it.
13. Take LOTS AND LOTS of pictures. Each one has the capacity to make you smile.
14. You'll never know unless you try.
15. It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.
16. Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people you don't even know.
17. Never pass up the opportunity to go on an adventure (big or small)
18. A sense of humor makes life better.
And finally:.....
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a friendship... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
On April 5 of last year, I experienced one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. My close friend, my sister, and my partner in crime Yahel Silva passed away in a car accident. She would have been 23 just a month ago today. While its been over a year, she is constantly present. Being the amazing individual that she was, it was through her that I have learned my lessons, and I choose to strive to be half the person that she was. She lived her life to the fullest. As cliche as it sounds, for Yahel, it defines every bit of who she was. At just 22 years of age, she left us having done everything she ever planned or wanted to do. She has become my inspiration for who I would like to be. On November 29, I sat at her uncles' bday party, which was on what would have been her 23 birthday, and as we made a toast to her, I sat beside her parents and listened to something that was being read. This has to be hands down the most valuable and most important information that has ever been given to me, and as we gear up for another year, I share this with all of you, so as to hopefully touch you and give us all some hope in each other and ourselves.
Happy New Year to everyone and may the coming year be filled with peace, love, health, and never ending happiness!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Third Eye Blind Plays the college crowd (or the drunk crowd)
I remember perfectly the summer before seventh grade I invited my two friends Sheena and Vicky over to my house to jump on my trampoline and eat watermelon that I had grown in the backyard. We were inside for a break and we had the TV on to MTV and we were watching the show Say What... the one with Dave Holmes hosting and the lyrics to the music video would scroll at the bottom of the screen... and we were singing along to "Semi-Charmed Life" trying to keep up, and thinking that those were the dumbest lyrics ever, and not really knowing what it meant. I remember Vicky specifically asking what crystal meth was after the "doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break" and none of us not knowing what that even meant.
Stephen Jenkins looks exactly the way I remember him. He had that clean cut face but with that look of "I might just kick your ass". And he walked across the stage like he was Axl Rose. Almost 12 years after I first saw Third Eye Blind on TV and Jenkins is still hot. He still seems like a preppy- bad ass kind of dude. And I'm still turned on by it. His intro was a bit dragged out, maybe to build up the anticipation for the crowd who hadn't seen/heard these guys in years, but after a bit, it was time to get the show on the road. They all came on stage wearing sunglasses. That, I'm not so sure about that. I wore sunglasses to my senior homecoming because I thought I was cool. Rockstar or not, its lame.
The show opened with "Losing A Whole Year" and I was surprised to see that the crowd knew the words and Jenkins left it up to the audience to sing the choruses. I was surprised because the crowd consisted of USD students in the age range of 18-21 and a few of us non USD-ers who were there to see this band of the 90s rock out. These "youngsters" reminded me of my little brother, wasted and making a scene for the sake of being college kids, which at times was annoying when they would start squealing and hugging each other through songs like "Crystal Baller" (one of my favorites) and drunkenly stepping on my feet.
Of course they played their classics ("How's it Gonna Be", "Jumper", "Graduate") and threw in some of their most recent songs ("Never Let You Go", "Crystal Baller") but they also tried to move away from their signature 90s songs and played songs off their upcoming record. Those didn't fare so well with the young and drunken crowd, although they were pretty good songs. I figure its because Third Eye Blind will forever be seen as the "Semi Charmed Life" guys and playing songs that no one knows 12 years later makes the crowd lose interest.
Personally, I think Out of the Vein was a great album... my favorite TEB song is for sure "Can't Get Away From You" which floods me with memories of senior year of high school, but unfortunately they didn't play that song (understandably so, its a slow song), nor did they play their hit "Blinded".
They did put on a great show. They had the crowd very excited- whether it was because of alcohol or not- and there was even crowdsurfing. They "finished" off the night with, of course, "Semi Charmed Kind of Life", which I pride myself in knowing all the lyrics thanks to Say What, which EVERYONE sang the "do do do, do do do do, do do do, I want something else, to get me through this, semi charmed kind of life", and then they thanked everyone and ran off. A few people made their way to the door, but most stayed. Within seconds everyone was yelling "Encore!" and they came back out and finished it off with "Narcolepsy" and "Jumper"
90s band or not, these guys can still rock, and Jenkins can still pull off the leather jacket with chains. They can still make the crowd jump, and they can still make people come to their shows. Laugh at me all you want, I am glad I went to their show, I'm glad they're still around, and I'm glad they're coming out with another album.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The Greatest Singers of All Time
In response to Rolling Stone Magazine's recent cover story "100 Greatest Singers of All Time", I decided to write my own list. I've really only ranked my top 10, and I'll list others in a random order, but I have to say why I am doing this, and how I am doing this.
Rolling Stone has a history of putting together "lists". There's nothing wrong with that, only that each list gets a ton of "controversy" around it. Let's face it, when it comes to music, there's no right or wrong answer, and it is inevitable that someone will be disagree. This list was compiled by votes turned in from music journalists and singers (my hero, Springsteen voted too). I think it is because of this that it is being received slightly less enthusiastic by RS's readers. But come on guys, do we as the public have that much opinion nowadays anyway? I'd love to say yes, and I at least try to make my voice be heard as much as possible, but think at the People's choice awards. It is not choice by the people- its chose by the a very small group of people who think they can speak for everyone else. Even the so called Democratic government we live in, isn't about our choice.
However, I am not offended that this list was chosen by people in the industry. I say this because if you take a look at the voters, it is mostly musicians, but it is musicians and singers that I feel they themselves had a huge impact on all of us, so their say is just as important, if not even more personal and more sincere. A singer's voice is a personal account that has the ability to touch us and move us in a way that gets a reaction out of us.
I'll make one thing clear, this list was compiled by ME. I asked and surveyed people in order to be able to make an informed decision, and be open to people that I wouldn't normally consider. So, while I am prepared to get criticisms, I also stand behind my list. Also, thanks to everyone who submitted their lists, you all had great ones (but, I cant bring myself to put Kenny Rogers mom...). Feel free to leave comments, thoughts, suggestions.
The Following is My List: (the popular opinion is after)
1. Alison Krauss- While not my favorite artist, she definitely has a voice that shatters your emotions. My sister laughed at my a while back when I said she sings like an angel. She has this way of singing softly but each line penetrates and because her songs are usually songs about heartbreak, you end up feeling like crap. But, its a good crap, its a crap that makes you believe every single word she sings as if she's singing for you of an experience you had, or felt like you had.
2) Jeff Buckley- a second generation folk singer, all his songs are haunting yet beautiful with his voice bringing out intense emotion.
3) Ben Harper- I know, I know, I'm probably going to get a bunch of emails on this one, but you know what? I consider him great because he has the innate ability to sing through different various genres (reggae, blues, folk, country, to name a few) with a soft voice that also evokes emotion. He is one of the few singers that can bring out the Woody Guthrie-esque sound of the folk movement of the 1960s while being able to maintain the level of eclecticness. (I'm looking into whether or not this is even a word..)
4) Elliot Smith- I had a hard time trying to figure out where to put him on this list. Part of me wanted him at the top spot, and part wanted him lower down. His style give me mixed feelings and makes me feel so many different things that ultimately confuse me. He was a sad musician, and his sadness transpires through every single song and I think he was hands down the best Acoustic Performer of the last 30 years.
5) Otis Redding- The epitome of soul music. Enough said.
6) Freddy Mercury-I have no better way to describe Freddy Mercury and his singing style than as simply "magnificent". No other rock star has come to the level of singing as Mercury, often sounding operatic and dramatic., with a voice so stunning that felt more like you were away at some intergalactic opera.
7) Bono- As a singer and performer, he manages to connect with every single person in the audience, and when he belts out choruses of his songs (like "With or Without You"'s chorus) you get the sensation that he's singing that with feeling from the top of an Irish mountaintop. But most importantly, what stands out is that Bono has an incredible connection with the music AND the message.
8) Raine Maida- Here's another one that people will be like, what???? Well, who knew it was possible to orchestrate a folk song full of violins and pianos, and harmonicas? Maida, best known for his whiney vocals in Our Lady Peace has always been a singer that catches my attention because of the use of his voice. Having recently released his solo CD confirmed my ideas on his singing and continue to draw me in. He has the innate ability to make a statement with his lyrics and his voice that make you have to listen to it again, and with each time you listen, a new message or meaning appears.
9) Frank Sinatra- Do I REALLY have to explain this one, or will you guys bombard me again with angry messages?
10) Billie Holliday- I consider her to be the greatest jazz vocalist of all time. Her voice sings of the emotion and the hard times she went through, with a rough sound to it. When I visited Harlem for the first time a few years ago, walking through one of the streets was a plaque as a tribute to her, because knowing stories of life in Harlem, her voice and her music resonates that, bringing to life the lives of people and Holiday during that time. Her music transports me to a different time, bringing out new feelings and emotions and a bit of hopelessness that, if listened to at the right time and place, has the ability to bring you to tears.
Others I wanted to put on the list but couldnt quite make the top 10: Jay Malinowski (Bedouin Soundclash), Cher (laugh it up!), Chris Cornell, Roy Orbison, Stevie Nicks, Dolly Parton, Robert Smith, Bob Dylan, Robert Plant, Neil Diamond, Joseph Arthur, Bon Iver
The Top 10 I compiled based on peoples opinion:
10. Brian Wilson
9. Eddie Vedder
8. Dean Martin
7. John Lennon/Paul McCartney (I averaged it out and decided to put both together)
6. Johnny Cash
5. Marvin Gaye
4. Bob Dylan
3. Frank Sinatra
2. Etta James
1. Robert Plant
And here are some more interesting ones that were submitted: Springsteen (my hero!), Liam Ghallager, Brandon Flowers, Debby harry, Rod Stewart, Caleb (from Kings of Leon), Steven Tyler, Conor Oberst, David Gray, Stevie Wonder, Brad Delp (Boston), Ryan Adams, Jack White, David Byrne, Elvis Costello, Celine Dion (that was my mom....), Barbara Streisand (again my mom...), Neil Diamond, Barry White, Barry Manilow, Neil Young, Johnny Mathis, Louis Armstrong, Scott Weiland, Jim Morrisson, David Lee Roth, James Brown, aaron Neville, Peter Gabirle, Serj Tankian, Jack Black (JAKE THAT WAS YOU!), Perry Ferrell, Smokey Robinson.
PLEASE keep submitting, compiling this list never gets old. And if you're like me, the list switches around constantly.
I wanted to leave you with a couple of songs that I think everyone should listen to, my top 5 songs of all time, fell free to add on to those as well:
1) Honey and The Moon- Joseph Arthur (my favorite ever)
2) Maggie May- Rod Stewart
3) Sitting On The Dock of a Bay- Otis Redding
4) Romeo and Juliet- Dire Straits
5) Jolene- Dolly Parton
Monday, December 1, 2008
This Modern Love
I chose a different approach to it. I chose to be pro-gay marriage. Once I heard everyone else's arguments, I'm not so sure I'm for it just yet anymore (thats a whole other story which I will NOT get into here). That's not to say I don't approve of gay relationships, its just that it would entail a snowball effect to get polygamists, and other unusual forms of relationships legalized...
However, my approach was that of my upbringing both at home and at my religious Hebrew school were contradicting themselves. On one hand, I'm being told that its a sin to be gay, but on the other hand I'm being taught that we must treat others as we would like to be treated. In fact, that was the most important rule I learned in all my years at Hebrew School. I remember my Rabbi saying that if I could only learn one thing from the Torah, it should be that lesson.
Anyway.... when panelists began raising the questions to each other (us), I got asked a question that caught me so off guard that I had to come to my blog for it. How do I define "Love"? It's tough because we all think we know, but try to answer it and you'll see you have NO idea.
This makes me think a lot about all the things I've dealt with since my senior of high school. I look back now and realize how silly it was to consider Daniel Roytman (my "boyfriend" of 1 month when I was 16) to be my first love. I was 16 and his promise bracelet that he gave me had the word "blowjob" spelled out in beads... hows that for love? I got into my first real serious relationship a few years after that in which for the first time I felt what it was to be loved. To be truly loved. I didn't get understand it and it scared me. To have someone need to hear my voice first thing in the morning and last thing at night was beyond me. I always said to him "why can't you just fall asleep? why can't you just let me fall asleep if I want without having to call you?" To have someone who lived 7 hours away drive 14 hours in total to see me for 2... To send me a dozen pink roses (my favorite) once a month and on special occasions that called for it (my first day at a new job) with cards saying "if you dont dazzle them, at least you still dazzle me". It sounds corny. I know. I hated it with a passion... To find out that 3 years after it all ended, your picture still sits on his desk...
Then you come to the serious relationship in which you finally feel what its like to love someone yourself. Prior to that moment for me, loving someone was just being able to actually say "I love you" to them, but not having to mean it. When you get to the point in which you do, it something unexplainable... something undefinable. As much as the relationship in which I understood what it was and what it felt like ended in a not so friendly way to say the least, I still appreciate and carry with me what it made me feel like at the time, and thats what I have left to base my definition on.
When you're truly in love (** keep in mind that these are all my own opinions based on my own experiences), nothing else matters. Literally. The only things that truly matter are those moments when you are with the person you love, every other moment without them is just a filler. Something that takes up space until the next moment you are with that person. Love is the inability to hold back a smile no matter how much you want to when you see that person, and the harder you try to hold the smile back, the bigger you smile. Love is when every imperfection is perfection. A nasty gross scar on the person's forearm is just another part of that person that makes them who they are. Love is recognizing by smell and touch who that person is (im not talking colognes here). I remember distinctly saying "my favorite thing about you is the way you smell". I know it sounds weird, but its true. At its highest point, love makes you want to scream of frustration because there just isnt a way to express just exactly how much you feel for that person. Love is willing to piss off your entire family to just "see what happens". And most importantly, love is when you want to hate them so bad with every fiber in your body, and you know that just one look will tear you all down again.
As for now, I'm not in love. Yes I was, but its over and for a reason. I don't dwell on the negative reasons anymore, but my reason now is that it ended in order to teach me what lies ahead, only bigger and better.
Love is the Bob Dylan and David Bowie of Feelings. I say this because just like Dylan and Bowie, there are so many faces, so many characters, and so many reasons behind that one word. How do we define it? We can't. We experience it. Many times. And each time, the definition changes.
I'm going to post the lyrics to two of the greatest love songs of all time, in my opinion. Two very different aspects of it, but two very true aspects of it. The first is by my hero, Bruce Springsteen "Secret Garden" off the Jerry McGuire Soundtrack, and the second is Rod Stewart's "Maggie May" which is genius in the portrayal of love.
Love cannot be defined. Songwrites, poets, artists, etc. have been attempting to do so for hundreds of years. There is no one definition. That is the glory of emotion. I know that by the time I post this, since I had to restart my entire blog from scratch, I don't know how many readers I have at this point again (both subscribed and unsubscribed), but feel free to leave comments.
And before I post the lyrics, I just want to conclude that because love is so broadly "defined" then how do we define marriage from a non legal standpoint? I would say that marriage is the ultimate goal/institution to display your love someone else... so would that mean to say then that if two men love each other, they can be married???????? hmmm.... got you thinking....
"Secret Garden"
Bruce Springsteen
She'll let you in her house If you come knockin late at night She'll let you in her mouth If the words you say are right If you pay the price She'll let you deep inside But theres a secret garden she hides She'll let you in her car To go drivin round She'll let you into the parts of herself Thatll bring you down She'll let you in her heart If you got a hammer and a vise But into her secret garden, dont think twice Youve gone a million miles How fard you get To that place where you cant remember And you cant forget She'll lead you down a path Therell be tenderness in the air She'll let you come just far enough So you know shes really there She'll look at you and smile And her eyes will say Shes got a secret garden Where everything you want Where everything you need Will always stay A million miles away
"Maggie May"
Rod Stewart
Wake up maggie I think I got something to say to you Its late september and I really should be back at school I know I keep you amused but I feel Im being used Oh maggie I couldnt have tried any more You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone You stole my heart and thats what really hurt The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age But that dont worry me none in my eyes youre everything I laughed at all of your jokes my love you didnt need to coax Oh, maggie I couldnt have tried any more You lured me away from home, just to save you from being alone You stole my soul and thats a pain I can do without All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand But you turned into a lover and Mother what a lover, you wore me out All you did was wreck my bed And in the morning kick me in the head Oh maggie I couldnt have tried anymore You lured me away from home cause you didnt want to be alone You stole my heart I couldnt leave you if I tried I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school Or steal my daddys cue and make a living out of playing pool Or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpin hand Oh maggie I wish Id never seen your face You made a first-class fool out of me But Im as blind as a fool can be You stole my heart but I love you anyway Maggie I wish Id never seen your face Ill get on back home one of these days
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